What I Can’t Write Without

Famous last words: Time to print!!!

Finished, right? Maybe, but I ought to run the spellchecker, just in case.

Tools>Spelling and Grammar…

IGNORE. IGNORE. ACCEPT. IGNORE, darn it! IGNORE. This is art. I need that one long twenty-line sentence with no commas. It’s not a run-on sentence; it’s my creative signature!

Finally: Nirvana, all is right with the world, yes, this is it, this is exactly what I wanted to say—there is not one single thing I can do to improve this.

Time to print!

File>Print…

And the printer rouses with a groan, coughing and wheezing, making anxious little paper-crumply noises. Ink cartridges flexing back and forth: Batter’s on deck.

(This printer knows what it’s in for. This printer is no dummy.)

Out they come, page after page of gorgeous black-on-white perfection—my best ever!  I snatch them off the tray, take a victory lap around the house, and plunk them in the center of the kitchen table. Ha!

Light the gas under the kettle, teabag in the cup, a dash of sugar and 2% milk. Whistling, I settle my mug at the table to gloat over my masterpiece.

Darn. Where’d I put the pen?

Okay just a little tweak here. And there. Oh, and there, that’s much funnier—done.

Back to the office, type in the changes. Voila! Time to print!!!!

File>Pri—

Printer: Back so soon?

Me: Mind your own business.  Continue reading